Ooops!

Ok Sunday night I went to pick up my children from Fidel, and he brought out my son first and I rushed to hurry him into the car (it was raining). I waited for him OUTSIDE to bring my little girl out.... and I waited.... and I waited.... Ok I get in the car to get out of the rain AND what do you know here he comes walking out the door with Serina. I get BACK out and get her and as I am trying to get her with my right hand, I noticed she has a HUGE CUPCAKE in her hand. *remind you-its in writing, no food/drinks/or any items are to be with the child when we are exchanging them, all snacks, foods, ect need to be finished before pick up. With that said, I grabbed the cupcake out of her hand and said "here, take it, she is not suppose to take anything with her" And I am holding it out while I am still trying to get Serina with me and he s-l-o-w-l-y pulls his hand out and I kinda put it in his hand a little rough. Now I promise I didn't mean to do it but the cupcake ended up rolling over on his hand and falling down on his shirt to the floor! OMGoosh!!! I mouth just dropped!! He said "that's f*ed up, that's real f*ed up" me "I swear I didn't mean to" and he just walked off.... My point is, if she didn't have it in the first place NONE of it would have happened. Right?

Christmas was awesome!! It was 100% better than I expected! My very close friends Lisa and LaJuana spoiled my children with toys, bed sheets and a VERY pretty nightie and I ended up with a surprise, a big gift set of Sweet Pea scented EVERYTHING! It was great!! My room is half full of toys that I haven't let my children open yet, only because I am going to have to go through all their old toys and get rid of those before I stuff their room with the new stuff!! My children loved it, it felt so good that my children got just about everything they wanted.

Im tired and wanna go to sleep so I end this for now.. and see if I can take a nap here at work. *crossing fingers*

Its like we've known each other FOREVER!

Last Friday I came home to my grandmother asking me "You will never guess who called me, never in a million years!" So me, being as smart as I am, it only took two guesses! "Great grandma" her -"NO" me- "ummm, Anna" her- "Anna who, which Anna" I never knew we knew so many Anna's! Me- "My uncles baby's mamma" Well, my uncles has so many children floating around out there. A couple of months ago, Joseph, contact my grandmother and since we have only met him once, he's hard to get a hold of. Well since last Friday me and my cousins have been talking everyday! Its like we've known each other this whole time! She has my personality! Oh YEA! Get this, I picked her up that Saturday after work and we went to the store to get some drinks for my nieces B-day party and I was looking at the plastic forks and stuff (looking for the cheapest ones with my broke butt) and I asked her to grab the paper cups. LOL remind you she is 9+ months pregnant, she grab the cups from the bottom and the cups that were stacked ON TOP OF IT came tumbling down! She threw the cups at me and ran behind me saying "I didn't do it!" hahaha Man we had so much fun!! She has a real smart mouth (in a funny way)!! I hate the fact that they were not around before, we missed out on so much fun, I know it! Well, her name is Victoria, she has a 11 month old boy Erik and she has another boy on the way. My other cousin looks just like my uncle and his name is Ignacio, yea I don't know how to spell it but I call him NACHO, Nacho con queso, Nacho bean. He hates it but I love it! hahaha

Now Fidel has been acting nice to me. I still have my guard up though. I am not going to act the way he has been just because I THINK/FEEL that things may be going "my" way. Lord knows once I do that He'll knock me right back down! LOL I am not that type of person anyways but just seeing that that's what happened to Fidel, it can happen to me too! You know! I take advantage of it, especially for my children's sake!

Alex, it never ends! We were talking for a bit, you know, trying to see if its something that we can work out. But I guess I have gotten use to me doing what I need to do without him. You know. So everything he tries to do, say or make me believe I let it go in one ear and out the other. So we are back on the baby momma/baby daddy relationship. I just don't have time for anyone else in my life. Its me and my children, THAT'S IT!
My family, especially my mom, think I need to do things for them on top of what I already have going for me. Ummmm NO! I don't have any money/time/energy for them! They aren't helping me (money, baby sitting, even their time) but they want me to bend over backwards. NOPE not gonna do it! I love them to death and I am not talking trash about them. Its just the honest truth, I can't! They are mad because I didn't take part in the Secret Santa, I told them I had no extra money so they are making faces and I can imagine talking behind my back. But OH WELL! I was BARELY able to get my children anything, let alone someone else! I spent MAX $22 on their presents!

What is he planning now?!

Yesterday was good but it really has me thinking today. Alex and I went to the meeting with the $150/hr guy and as soon as we got there he said "We are going to give Fidel a couple of minutes to see if he'll show", about 5 mins after he said that he was on the phone calling him. This is what I heard "Mr Valdez, do you plan on attending the meeting today?" ....... "So you don't want to comply with court orders?" ..... loooooong pause.... "Ok Mr Valdez, I will report to the courts and lawyers that you do not want to participate with this program and will not follow court orders" and he hung up on him. WOW! That just blew my mind! He walks in the lobby where me and Alex are waiting and says "Ya'll can go home, I will file a non-compliance against Fidel and report that to the courts and your lawyers. He no longer wants to participate with the program." LOL and the first thing out of Alex's mouth was "Are we getting a refund?" I wanted to smack him in back of the head LOL. It was a good question but come on! As soon as we left his office we were on the phone calling our lawyers! As you may know, this is a very good thing for my case! But it has me kinda worried now. Why would he pull a stupid move like that?? What does he have up his sleeve?? Is he planning on leaving with my children like he has threatened before?? I just don't understand why he would do this if he didn't have a back up. He's played it smart this whole time, why mess it up now?? I think he has run out of ideas and now is going to do something. Please pray that he doesn't take off with my children.

Also, you know what's sad. I was talking to my son yesterday when I was washing dishes and he was telling me "Momma are we going to church tomorrow?" and I said "No honey, we are going Sunday" my son- "awwwh, I want to go to church" me- "ask daddy and see if he'll take you Wednesday sweetie" my son-"I already did" me-"oh and what did he say" my son-"he said no church and we're not going" That broke my heart. My children love going to church!

Ok well right now Im so busy at work. I will have to update more later.

NIIIIIICE! haha

Its not everyday you look at someone's blog and see a picture inside a kids mouth! LOL But there is a story to this. On Sunday the 3rd, my son, for some odd reason, had his plastic hanger in his mouth. Now the reason he had access to the hangers is because I have taught my children to hang their clothes on a hanger, then mommy will put them away. I know I know I have great kids and they actually enjoy it!! AND SO DO I! hahaha Well he had the hook part in his mouth and my bully of a daughter pulled it and practically yanked his tooth out! It was fine for the night. I gave him some ice in a plastic bag to put in his mouth and I gave him some Tylenol and but some baby orajel on it. He was still able to eat pizza so I was like HEY he can make it till the morning. I called my ex and he "didn't have the patience" to talk to me then and he would call me back. An hour later he calls me and I explained to him what happened and how I noticed a tooth growing in the back (which to me was weird, I thought his teeth may be growing crooked) and that he need to go to a dentist. He yells "Why don't you take him?!" Me-"Because I can't miss work, I have a job to keep and you are available and I don't have any money for the dentist" Him "Just take him, I have the money, I'll give it to you" Me-"And my job?" Him-"Fine whatever just set an appointment and I'll take him" Now was that so hard, I mean come on I am paying all the medical, life and dentist by myself the least he could do is take him and pay for it. Right?! Well he takes him on Monday and the dentist pulled his tooth out and explained that the tooth growing in the back will move forward. YES! So when I was taking this picture he was laughing so hard I had to take it about 10 times before I got a clear shot! LOL

Well after the dentist my ex calls me and says "I'm about to drop Fidel off to your grandmother" Me-"let me see if she is home, Alex has the girls" CLICK I was about to call him back but I knew why he was mad... so I called my grandmother and she was down the street from the house so I called Fidel "WHAT" me-"my grandmother is home go ahead and drop him off" Him-"No I already going home, that's why Serina should have been with your grandmother instead of making me wait!" CLICK Ok Serina is with her father, where is the wrong in that?? Now you have to pass my house to get to his house from the dentist office and he JUST left and was no where close to passing my house yet. Fine! I didn't mind anyways because Mon-Tues I have to drive by his house to pick up my son so it wasn't like I was going out of my way anyways AND he save me a 5 min drive by picking him up from his house AND he saved me $10 from the daycare pickup I have going for my son. HECK NO I don't mind driving there! :) But of course I am not going to let him know that though.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I have my children for Christmas!! They rescheduled my trial for Feb 14th SOOOO that means I have my children for Christmas! I am so excited!!

I need to stop/start

I need to stop giving ya'll half the story and start updating more often! haha Its just a long hectic journey I am traveling and I see it coming to an end, the only thing I can't shake is the feeling of "uncertainty" I have of not knowing what's going to happen. Will this be a journey I can look back and I wish I did things different and I would have my children? Will God forgive me and give me what I need and tell me, you have learned your lesson? Will I have to deal with the fact that ALL the choices I made will haunt me everyday I don't see my children? Or is this something I really have learned from and will always appreciate that lesson? What will happen?

I have been having really strange dreams lately and I can't figure them out. Its like while I am in the dream I am remember what each detail is representing but when I wake up I cant remember anything. Its always dark in my dreams now and usually that a strong sign of stress/depression/anxiety/sadness/ect.

Well today we were suppose to have our group meeting with the $150/hr guy but my ex cancelled on the 29th. Last minute of course. I honestly don't see a reason why he would need to cancel BUT I bet he will be at court today! If he can make it to court he should have made it to our appointment. The only reason I can come up with is that the $150/hr guy is suppose to report after our meeting today to the court and of course my ex doesn't want to "corporate" with me and Alex and he doesn't want that report to the court, at least today. SO he is post-poning it. I may just be thinking too hard but I think that's what he's doing. He has nothing on me really now. My ex-roommate called me last week and she is going to testify for me, my ex offered her money to lie against me AND she knows I gave my ex money for my children AND she took me on AT LEAST 3 occasions to try to get my children AND how I would do things for and with my children. Do you think that will help? YES I know so! And I think my ex found out that she will be there, so he is panicking. I think. Now don't get my wrong, I am not getting "big-headed" and pointing my finger going "I gotcha". I am just thinking/assuming that's what's happening. I am not in this to "win" I am in this to prove that I am a fit, great loving mother to my children and everything he is claiming is wrong. I am not going to let him "win" by lying. I am here for my children not to beat him!