Today maybe...

I got a response from Alex last night and he got the letters where I was telling him about the couple fighting upstairs and how much it reminded me of how we use to fight and how he would put his hands on me. I wrote about these 2 incidents that burns my memory and he told me how sorry he was and when he read it and thought about those days he felt so low and so stupid. He wrote how he would never treat me like that again, he wants a chance to show me how love is suppose to be and so on.

You know, a man its suppose to protect his woman emotionally, mentally and physically. A REAL MAN. But because I let these "men" (referring to my ex-husband and Alex) treat me the way they did, I second guess everything about me, I am so scared of letting myself get close to anyone even some of my friends which thankfully I have 3 that I can trust, and I don't know if I want another guy in my life.

Well anyways, I am expecting a response from him today regarding the letter I wrote him telling him that we are done, I need my space, I need to concentrate on me and my family. *deep breath*

I went to church Sunday and the message hit home with me. I have a lot of changes to make, a lot of things I need to accomplish and I need mainly Him to help get us there!