Im ok!

I have been so busy at work its crazy!  My youngest daughter turned 2 on March 17th!  I baked a strawberry cake with strawberry slices on top, LaJuana and my babysitters family came and had so much fun!

Serina ended up cutting her hair!!  "But mommy I didn't want to wait anymore I wanted my hair short"  Arrrrrg! hahaha  She is still really really cute but I am not a short hair type of person but my daughter pulls it off very well!

My son has been with his father since the 13th and he finally came back yesterday!  I missed him so much!!  We went to IHOP to eat and they had a Dr Seuss theme going on so they had pancakes with pink and purple syrup and kissables sprinkled on top with a lollipop in the middle and their drink was 7-up with red and blue Jell-O pieces in it THEY LOVED IT!!

I know this is JUST A PHASE Im going through.  Don't take the following serious! hahaha  I miss being held at night.  A good man to call me and ask how my day went.  Someone that misses me and I miss them.  Even just have him think of me.  Ya know, I have been feeling down a little lately, don't know why really.  I've been reading my Bible everyday like always and praying but I don't think Im ready to let go.  To let go of the feeling that I want someone by my side.  I know with me being a single mother of 3 little ones it will be hard for a man to accept me and my kids.  I think the main problem is that they will think they will have to "support" my children, ya know, they wont understand that I don't want someone to "support" my children, I do that that's my responsibility and honestly I don't want to share that! hahaha But only accepts them and respects them and is there for me.

DEEP BREATHE

I took a 5 day "vacation" from my job!  It was so nice, I ate way to much, did a lot of running around that was needed, SHOPPED (wow its been years since I've said that without having graceries a part of that word hahaha) got me 3 pair of jeans that I can wear and not have my stomach in my chest! hahaha Ok it wasnt that bad but still! Got my kids a lot of what they needed my girls really pretty dresses and my son 3 pairs of suits for church!  THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!!  I treated my self out to eat once a day, still took my kids to the babysitter and had time to myself!  It was nice and very much needed!

THEN I come back to work and wow taking a vacation the work piles up! hahaha I've been busting my butt to catch up and then my sup gives me a project of 5000 accounts to work on! SOOOO YEA I need another one! hahaha

My children have been good, they got their bunk beds set up this past Sunday and they love it!!  My back really paid for it and still is!  I am so hard-headed I had plenty of people i could have called to help but did I?  Nope!  I'll get over myself one day! hahaha  I've been baking cakes and stuff with my kids and they are enjoying the extra time I am able to have with them now.  Its good :)

DRAMA
 
I talked to Fidel (ex-hubby) and he told me the 2 craziest things yesterday.  First of all, he wants to go 50-50 custody with my son Fidel!  Um no!  Never will I give up my kids, he had his chance to have 50-50 but he wanted all or nothing!  So be it, God turned the tables and has blessed me and my children and there is no way I will ever give that up!  He said he was tired of driving back and forth during the weekdays to get him to and from school and that he wanted him to go to school there and I replied back "I did it for over a year and not once did I complain, he's your son, you are his father you do what you have to do, but its your choice cause I will not let him go, so if you continue to keep taking me to court even if its been 10 years I will be there!"  Secondly, I asked him about this house he supposively bought and I told him that he was suppose to notify me within 30 days.  He told me he hadnt moved into the house yet and when he does he will notify me.  And I asked him "Also, I would like to ask you something, and its completely up to you but if your girlfriend moves in with you I would like to meet her since she is going to be a major part of my kids lives and if you say no then ok that's your descision" and he replied "Hell no!" and I told him "First of all please do not answer me like that, if you say no the ok" and he goes "Just to let you know (and he said this so cold) I will never marry or live with another female again.  It will never be the same as me and you.  No woman will ever make me feel the way I did again"   WOW!  I didnt know what to say to him, I just said "Well if that's how you feel then so be it, you never know when that woman will come along and change your mind" and he said "Why do you care, you are out there dating?" and I said "I am not dating and you are the father of my son so I do care to a certain point" and then he ended the call by saying "Well whatever, I will just see you in court"

You know it hurts me sometimes to be so "mean" but you know what God has a plan for my family and I know it involves all my children together.  He has made me so strong and able to handle everything that has happened and He continues to bless us in ways I never dreamed of!!  I dont laugh or try to "talk down" on anyone because its not how it works.  I want me and my ex hubby to have a good parenting relationship but I just wish he wasnt so cold and then it seems he is taking it out on other women.  I had always treated him right, I have always been good to him, never tried to be vendictive and when he took my children away from me, at that point I knew what I had to do.  All I did was fight for my children back! 

Well I will end this for now... need to get back to work.