Its hard but Im still going!

Well since my last blog, I have been doing great. My situations haven't changed they have actually started to get a little worse but I still feel good and strong! My son has the flu which ya'll can imagine how I spent my Valentines. My poor baby, he was so sick and in so much pain. I wish I could stay home with him and take care of him but unfortunately Im not rich and I have to make sure I keep my job. I picked up my little girl for a little bit and had to take her back to A*hoe a couple of hours later because I can't have her getting sick too. :( But I still spent my Valentines with my children so Im good.

I had to stop by Alex's house this morning to drop off my little girls clothes that she has to go back in and guess what his car wasn't there. Immediately I starting getting angry thinking he has MY baby girl with him at that "girl's" apartment. It hurts knowing he is still with her but Im not all "why isn't he with me" or anything like that. I think Im still going to hurt for a little bit but I am not letting it affect me. Does that make sense to ya'll?? Well when I knocked on the door they answered and I asked where my little girl was. THANK GOD!! As soon as I asked that here she comes wanting mama to hold her. Ya'll just don't know how relieved I was!! My baby was where she was suppose to be! Well I had to drive by that "girls" apartment to get to my sisters apartment so I can drop my son off with her and yep I saw his car there. No surprise. I wrote him a text and saying "I appreciate that you didn't take mija with you while you went to be with your girl. But I don't want to hear from you that you don't get to spend time with mija" and that was it! A couple of days ago he got upset because I spent the whole weekend with my children and didn't answer his calls on Saturday night and he tried to put a guilt trip on me saying how he missed out on the first couple of years of her life and that he wants every chance he gets with her, blahblahblah. Ok I told him in advance that I had plans with the children Saturday and he could have mija Friday night. I didn't get a call or even a text until Saturday night. Sorry, I told you I had plans. Then he calls me Monday because he got put in jail Saturday night and didn't get out until he called me. So I let him see mija but then he pulls this crap. Am I wrong, seriously?

Well I want to go to church tonight but I seriously need to put in as much time as I can during the week to make up some hours so that Saturday when I work it'll all be OT. Oh, just for my son's medicine and co-pay for the doctor I spent about $75. I need booster seats for my children so that I can pick them up Sunday. F*face threaten to keep the car seats and if he does and I show up Sunday with no car seats, he doesn't have to give me the kids. So I am seriously broke after paying off my bills and paying the co-pay and prescriptions. I don't know what to do but I am sure God is going to come up with something. In the mean time I have to ask around or look around for 2 booster seats. Stress but Im still going. I am not going to let this get me down. Right?? RIGHT!

Well the single-mother life is really hard but I am actually enjoying it. I am just worrying about me and my children. No one else's problems or crap. Just me and my children!! I mean I still think of all my friends and family but Im concerned with our needs right now and I am working hard for just us. That isn't wrong, right? Sometimes I feel like Im being selfish but then I think to myself, you and your children need you and need things right now you don't have time to think of anyone elses needs but yours. Well I love ya'll!! Gotta go!