I'm lame I know!

I went to talk to Alex and ummm yea he is going to move back to his mothers when he gets out but he is begging me to reconsider!  (I'm not saying begging as in kissing my butt)  He was asking me to reconsider and telling me how much he realizes he needs me and the kids in his life and with him at his mom's he couldn't show me how much he loves me or would be able to help me when I need him.  Sometimes I feel like I really do believe him but why does he have to "maybe" change in jail!?

So I have a feeling when we find out if and when he gets parole I may have a change of heart.  I even used a example of "well if you move in with me, your mother wouldn't approve or support that cause we are not married and we would be living together and no one will force me to get married"  and he told me "so what I don't care about what my mother says or thinks, its about you!"  WOW!  Not really what I was aiming or planning for but all I want from him is to take care of his family not push his mother, etc away just ... heck I don't know how to explain it.  But for those who know me knows what I mean.  Family is important to me but my children are MY family and their needs and wants come first! 

Well, I'm enjoying being single and able to do what I want, when I want, and be with who I want!  Since he's been gone I am able to be with my friends more, spend more time with MY side of the family and I have less stress and a lot more confidence in myself.  Granted my self-esteem is low but the confidence in I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN has been 100%!  I love it and I enjoy myself more!

I am looking forward to V-day now!  It seems like its going to be the best one I've ever had!  Good friend, good food and about us!  We don't need a "significant other", we are just going to enjoy company, laughs and food!